I was cautioned by so many people to not love too deeply, especially if it appeared that love wasn’t returned. I heard all the cliches—
“If he loves you, he won’t be confused by his feelings for you.”
“If he loves you, there’s not a mountain too high to get to you.”
“If he loves you, he won’t ever make you wonder if he loves you.”
I heard them all. For a while, I listened. Because it all seems true, it all seems rational. I would likely say the same to any of my girlfriends.
But this journey is different. This connection is different. And there came a point where I had to listen to what my heart was telling me over the fears that my mind and others were projecting.
So I listened in a different way, a new way. I listened to myself. I kept my heart open. I loved deeper. No matter what has been happening in the outside world, I keep listening to my heart and trusting the love that’s there—for him. From him.
Boundaries? Abso-fucking-lutely. But I’m not shutting down my heart anymore. I’m not listening to the mind when my heart is screaming at me what’s true for me. I’m not playing it small, and I’m not playing it scared.
Don’t love too deeply?
Fuck that. Love deeply. Then love deeper. Because there are no limits to what the heart can feel.
There are no limits to what my heart feels for him.
And I’m not going to be afraid of that anymore.